FALLS APART

"Falls, apart, everything around me

falls, apart, when I walk away from you"

Falls Apart--Thousand Foot Krutch

(Note: Stop the automatic music at the bottom of the screen and please play the song provided with this blog post... AND PLAY IT INSANELY LOUD)

Falls apart..............................

Everything around me

When I walk away from you

I have no good pictures, or profound insight. (As if anyone ever read this to get anything out of it.) But just realization.

Things fall apart when I walk away from God. I love how TFK puts it so simply. From the very start, things fall apart when I walk away from you.

He holds me together. He holds everything together. 

It isn't about my track record. It's not about how great I pray, how great I act, or how many people I can get pumped for him. It's not about how great I can do "ministry." 

RUBBISH. Crap. It STILL all falls apart when I walk away from him.

I think I can put my life into a perfect little box. I get my script on how I should live life. I go through the motions, and I act, say, and do what good little Christian girls should.

NO.  

Even with scripts, things fall apart. 

I need him. I need him to breathe! I need him to keep my life together.

Philippians 2:12-15 has been going through my head lately.

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

Things in life are not easy--even as a follower of Christ. So, get that out of your head. It's hard. Continue to work out your faith with fear and trembling.

Fear and trembling

Everyday i'm faced with decisions. lots of decisions. And everyday i need to make a decision to live for him through every decision I make. not so easy when you hear people talking smack about each other and i'm standing there like an idiot and i should say something about it.

not so easy when people ask more of me than what i can give.

not so easy when i feel cheated

not so easy when i want the other people to "get what they deserve"

not so easy when i feel like things are falling apart

not every decision is an easy one.... in fact, it's with fear and trembling I make the decisions i need to make.

I can't live life according to scripts. I can't live life the easy way. I can't just "do the right thing" and think everything will be okay. I have tried that. Jesus didn't come to live on this Earth, and die a terrible treacherous death and rise from the dead just so I could live an easy "christian" little life. He died so I could live...

live radically with him

I wish I could, but I don’t, 
Always keep the promises I’ve kept,
I wish I could, but I can’t, 
Always give, whatever I have left,

And now it’s all so clear, 
Doesn’t anyone see what’s happening here?..../

It falls, apart, from the very start,
It falls, apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls, apart, every thing around me,
Falls, apart, when I walk away from you

I need Jesus. I need to live and breathe Jesus.

Thanksgiving: Food, Family, & Garage

The holidays are always crazy times. There are so many people to see, food to prepare, and just plain work that goes into such a "relaxing" time!  I get a bit stressed out. Dragging the kids around with all the coats, clothes, diapers, and other items gets exhausting.  Not to mention with the new atmosphere, Grace and Justice refused to nap for any extended period of time. It isn't until almost a week later I feel like I have them back on a normal schedule.

We went to my parents house for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful to see so much family that I haven't seen in years! I also couldn't believe how much our family has grown in number. 23 people came for Thanksgiving, and that's just a fraction of the family!

Oh, but the fun doesn't stop there. Thanksgiving morning we also received a call... someone early that morning had taken out the side of our garage! Brian and I quickly ran home to see the damage. He sure took out the entire corner of the garage!

Our car was hit (while in the garage!), and we have yet to have insurance figure out the damage. But I have to be honest, we had to laugh. What's the chances our car would be hit while IN the garage?!

Well, there was nothing we could do about it on Thanksgiving but take pictures and laugh about it. Then we left to enjoy our turkey dinner.

Luxurie

From the french [a state of great comfort & extravagant living]

I have sat with this post in my drafts for awhile. I didn't know how to write it (and I still don't). But, with Thanksgiving and Black Friday behind us and the Holiday season is here, full commercial swing and all. I might as well post this now. 

[Last week]

The other week there was a conference at the Hyatt Hotel in Minneapolis. 

LUXURY

I have seen beautiful buildings, and posh things, but because I got to live it for a couple of days, it was over the top.  Granted, I LIKED IT. I liked being pampered. I liked high class. Why not?!

I liked the granite counters, down comforter, 1,000 count Egyptian sheets, and not the mention the spectacular view! This was the view from the 19th floor...

 

It was simply breath-taking. 

And that wasn't the end of such luxury. Of course this place has a fitness center/day spa. My very loving husband sent me to go and check it out. I got a massage (first professional massage in my life!) and checked out the facility. OMGosh. I didn't want to leave the ladies locker room! It was so posh and LUXURIOUS that I could have spent the better part of the day there.

So why am I writing about all this?

It was wonderful, beautiful, and exciting. But it's not somewhere I'd like to be all the time. There's a very dangerous mindset that goes along with it all.

"I deserve this."

Can anything be further from the truth?  But, that mentality does start creeping in. "I deserve this treatment." "I am high class." "I deserve this."

Oh, how terrible is that. I don't deserve this.

COMMERCIALISM KILLS

The pampering, the nice things, stuff. None of it is bad, but it's the mentality that's pushed behind it. "I deserve this."

"I will feel better if I buy this." "I will be ________ if I get this."

I am soooo happy to hear that Black Friday sales were not the same as last year. I was sooo happy to hear that sales are down everywhere. Granted, I don't like the economy being down and people being out of jobs, but we are so sucked into stuff, it's nice to get a breather. WE DON'T NEED IT.

I live in a land of luxury, and for it I am blessed and cursed. To whom much is given, much is expected. 

I have been given much, how much more does He expect from me?

Give to the poor. Defend the widow. 

"Do not wear yourself out to get rich;

have the wisdom to show restraint.

Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone,

for they will surely sprout wings and

fly off to the sky like an eagle."

{Proverbs 23:4-5}