Community

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

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Community has been part of my story this year as much as story and adventure has been.

I have a community, but I need more community. I want to create community.

This last year I have been in a bible study or fellowship group (whatever it is), that has been wonderful for keeping my path from wandering. It so much hasn't "advised" me, as it has been a place to share and help me discover myself through community. As we have tried to discover the purpose and direction for this community, I have learned more about myself.

But, I need more.... and I hope this group grows, develops a mission, and potentially grows to change some part of the world.

Creating community. Granted it's December, so this part of what's happening "next year." I want to create community. I didn't think that it would be very beneficial to create online community, but then I have been reading about how to create it, and I realized how much I enjoy reading blogs and other online communities.... I guess I could do that to, and hopefully inspire more people to beautify their lives.

So with small baby steps, my next step I took today. I finally started my "official" bia blog.... It took me all day of tweeking, setting up, reading up on tech stuff I don't know... but I finally started something.

Make

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

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Make. It has taken me nearly a year to figure this out, that I need to create, make, craft, to let my creativity out.

Thankfully, I have allowed time for this in my "work week." Now I have made time for myself to create scrapbook pages, craft organizing things for my kitchen, create wonderful meals (and not so wonderful ones), and read read read for the sake of creation.

One of the last things I made recently are Christmas cookies. Every other year, I don't make Christmas cookies. They are too much time and effort for something that I didn't think tasted that great. But this year, it became a project (mostly because we didn't have enough money to buy presents for everyone we wanted to give a gift too). So, Christmas cookies it is. Homemade, thoughtful, and oh so yummy.

Of course, I came up with a list (via suggestions from facebook), and built the cookies materials into my grocery budget. Flour, butter, almonds, chocolate, peanut butter (and organic where I could afford it). It's our gift... it should be the best!

I made some peanut butter blossoms (that most of them got eaten while they were cooling on the counter), gingerbread people (which still need to be frosted), and brownie biscotti. I have never made biscotti before, so that was a wonderful experience.

Letting Go...of perfectionism

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

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I pondered this all day Sunday.

What have I "let go" of this year? Really, I think I have let go of a lot, but it's about keeping it "let go of" that is the hard part.

I let go of (or trying to let go of) perfectionism. Clean house, perfect food, perfect creativity, perfect "formula" of how to do life. I realized there is no perfect way to live life, from person to person, but I had to let go of the idea that there is a perfect way to live my own life. A perfect balance of motherhood, creativity, and control on things.

It's not going to happen. And trying to control my life to such perfectionism isn't going to drive me to perfection, but instead to legalism. One quote that really impacted me from earlier this year was,

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.

Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business."

Michael J. Fox

I am letting go of perfectionism, striving for excellence.

It's a work in progress.

Wonder

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

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A sense of Wonder. I confess I believe it's something that comes and goes... and it needs to be cultivated. It's very easy to become comfortable with the way things are, the things around you, and nothing sparkles anymore.

I wonder at little things. I love seeing the little things. I don't want to walk through life and not notice the sparkles in the snow, the smile on my children's faces, and toys lined up in perfect order on the floor and left.

I try to cultivate wonder by taking pictures of these small things, and putting them into a book. Somethings of a legacy to leave my children, or anyone that would care to look at it. I wonder at the awesome taste of food and trying new ones. I wonder at the beautiful sunset (maybe I should wake up to see the sunrise once in a while). I wonder at the sights and smells through out my day... and most of the time I'm only at home!

How can I cultivate wonder next year? Keep noticing the small things... and maybe when things don't go as planned, take wonder in what is in front of me now... now what I thought it would be.

Alive

December 3 – Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

(Author: Ali Edwards)

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I struggled with this prompt.

I thought about it most of the day.

And I limited myself from being completely logical. I wasn't going to pick out "the best from the whole year" and I wasn't going to look at my calendar (though I fought that ALL DAY). Instead, of writing right away... I checked my email (nothing interesting), checked my favorite blogs (thankfully Ali does her prompts a day behind), make some brownie biscotti, organic mac and cheese for the kids, and snuggled in with finishing my book.

And I thought more about it.

I tried to think of relaxing times... and I enjoy those, but I don't feel "most alive." When I thought about it--I feel most alive when I create.

I enjoy being a mom. I enjoy teaching. I enjoy being a wife. I enjoy a lot of things. But, when do I feel "alive." It's when I create. Creating anything. I love to create food (not all the time, but most of the time). I make a menu (which I don't always love), and I create supper. I create brownie biscotti, I create chicken roulade with my husband.

I get into my funk when I create scrapbooks, art, digital anything... When I play with glitter, make something meaningful in Adobe Photoshop, I sit back in awe... I created.

To go with Ali's prompt for today, for my favorite way to "create," I usually have music playing--anything on iTunes. I don't really listen to it, but it fills the air around me. I have my trusty cup of coffee, that I have to go and reheat at least 3 times. I'm in the zone... Brian can't reach me, he has to make sure I'm looking at him or I am really not listening. Creating... I love it.

On Writing...

I was excited to actually write on my blog. I like to write, and I like to express myself... but I don't always know what to say. I have kept a diary ever since 2nd grade... and I have loved it. It's been on-again off-again, and that is exactly what I like about it. It's mine. Nobody is critiquing it, nobody is reading it, and nobody is requiring anything out of it. EVEN ME (that's the amazing part).

I am excited for my new word. Last year was story. I have seen that word resurface over and over. Like it was supposed to make a point! I first saw it on Ali Edward's blog. And I didn't think anything of it. Stop. Correction. I did think of it. It never left my mind. But I didn't think it applied to ME until a few more steps... Don Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart, and J. R. R. Tolkien's, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I wrestled with story... My story. And, this quest has taken a year, now that I look at it!

And this year... Adventure.... being brave, courageous. Taking steps, even baby steps, to at least head out the door, down the road, onto my adventure.

So, today, the Reverb10 prompt was about writing.

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December 2 Writing.
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

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Ironically, or maybe, totally in step with my adventure, is making writing more part of my adventure into a new business. I have been reading The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau, and he gains much of his "freedom" from having his own following on his blog. I new this was a step I would need to take in my business/freedom/adventure quest, but I didn't know where.

I Guess Here.

I will be doing this challenge, which is writing, and part of that challenge is to post it on my blog. And I would like to start some more topics, that would be posted on my business/adventure blog. I haven't started it yet... I wonder when?

What do I do what doesn't contribute to my writing? Multitask. It distracts and makes everything disjointed. I think I can multitask, but it makes everything messy. Don't even ask me to be looking at the internet and have a conversation on the phone... it's terrible!

How do I eliminate multitasking? Focus. One thing at a time. Fulfill it. Buy a dang timer and when it goes off, THEN move on to the next thing.

Reverb10

I am trying a new challenge that has me reflecting about the last year and manifesting the next. I am excited for a simple project that lasts for only 31 days. And it gives me ambition to write on my blog.

Check out Reverb10 if you want to try it too!

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Story

If there is anything that I have been learning this last year, it is about my story. My story not just as a mom, just as a wife, just as a good Christian, but what does my story look like, and is it what I want it to be? I already had a post that explained it more, especially the 3rd thing that God has taught me lately about Story.

Adventure

Learning about my story this last year, I'm ready (glup... maybe not quite) for an Adventure. And with learning about my story, I have learned (but not yet put into practice) a couple of things. Fear-- I have fear, a lot of it, but those that live in adventures have fear too. They deal with it. They continue on, they do it anyway. I want an adventure, and it's now time to DO what I have LEARNED.

bia *Betsy *Independent *Artist

So, I know that progression and living life to the fullest cannot be put into a check list.

And I know that I want to make things simple like that.

Ate Breakfast--Check

Loved someone--Check

Did more for the world--Check

It's bogus... but it's nice to have little baby-steps. And I feel like God has put these tiny baby-steps in front of my path. They are so tiny that I don't even know that I am doing them!

God's checklist for my teeny-tiny baby steps....

1. Notice that she hasn't been creative--Check

2. Work out some longing to do something--Check

3. Read a blog by inspiring crafter--Check

4. Put inspirational book into PDF on her computer--Check

5. Discover PDF and remembers she wants to read that--Check

6. Put a pithy and rememberable checklist in PDF so that she will unconsciously want to make a checklist--Check

I haven't even read the book yet, and I am inspired. The TITLE inspired me. "The Art of Non-Conformity."

I like that. I hate boxes (unless I'm organizing my closet). I hate seeing people put in a box (unless their Houdini), I hate seeing God being put in a box, I hate ideas being put in a box. What do we have... and how can we do it differently.

Am I an original thinker? no. I like to scrap-lift, quote quotable quotes, and read other big thinkers stuff. And for some reason if I have a checklist or a challenge... I have to do it. Or in this case, go out of my way NOT to do it.

11 Ways to be unremarkably AVERAGE *by Chris Guillebeau

1. Accept what people tell you at face value
2. Don't question authority
3. Go to college because you're supposed to, not because you want to learn something
4. Go overseas once or twice in your life, to somewhere safe like England
5. Don't try to learn another language; everyone else will eventually learn English.
6. Think about starting your own business, but never do it.
7. Think about writing a book, but never do it.
8. Get the largest mortgage you qualify for and spend 30 years paying for it
9. Set at a desk 40 hrs a week for an average of 10 hrs of productive work
10. Don't stand out or draw attention to yourself
11. Jump through hoops. Check off boxes.

Ahhhh! So many of those I was "unchecking" then I got to 11...

Anyway. It was #6. #7 I knew that I wanted to do... Write a book. I still do.

#6 I never thought would be an option.

Until God babystepped me all the way here.

I don't know what I am doing. But I have courage just to make baby-steps. And if a step takes too much courage... I'll break it down into doable baby steps.

Okay Don, Okay Chris, I'm going to do it.

I'm starting a business. bia

When "coincidence" proves God's direction

Stirring. I have had a lot of that lately.

Something unsettled in my heart. Things not where I want them to be in my life. Stirring towards something. Something that I don't know what it is yet.

Stirring that's exciting, invigorating, and has me motivated.

And I can't figure out just what to do with myself.

Words keep coming up in my life.

Creativity

Entrepreneur

Justice

Identity

Non-Conformity

Status-quo

Reading

Leading

Love

Courage

Courageousness

Story

Epic

Strength

Perseverance

Lord, what on earth are doing?

I have learned that there are two sides of me. They do not want to be ignored. It's been a week since I have posted last, and I have finished a book, and started a list of others.

I have cleared off my scrapbooking table, and my wonderful husband hung up my shelves.

I have listened to a new band to me, the Weepies, that I LOVE.

I have prayed anew, learning, opening up to God, and ready to see things He's doing.

And then. I doubt.

I can't really be doing this... maybe I'm going to an early mid-life crisis. Maybe the things I'm learning is just supposed to calm me down. Maybe I'm just an energetic person with big ideas and no work. I can't do this. I'm too busy, too tired, too poor, too scared.

And then, I talk to a friend. And then, I find a list of books that my husband wrote down--and they match mine. And I learn that people find my skills valuable. And I learn that when there is something worth doing--people will follow.

And I know-- and these "coincidences" are not just so, but building blocks. Baby steps that God is helping me take before I even know that I am walking.

And I believe.

Creativity

It's kind of funny how you forget certain things about yourself. Or maybe you don't forget them, they just seem less important. Somehow something important about yourself gets stuffed in some back drawer of your mind, or to the bottom of a paper stack of "to-dos."

Finally, after some discussion, and finally got it out in words.

I have two very prominent parts of me: Justice and Creativity

Growing up, I focused a lot on Creativity. Art, the beauty of math, photography, painting, architecture, culture, thinking, theatre. All of this "left side brain" stuff was my life. I wanted to know Spanish fluently. I wanted to be in Theatre. I loved creating anything. I got into scrapbooking and photography.

Then, I learned more about Justice. Doing justice and understanding people. I LOVE my InterCultural Studies degree. I have used it more than I could even have imagined I would! I became involved in ministries--and that is where I have been ever since.

I still had some creative outlets, scrapbooking once in a while, photography, discovered a love for cooking/baking.

But this Creative side got pushed; pushed further and further into the back drawer. I would catch glimmers of it, but it was something I was good at that just kind of "came out" in my job every once in a while.

But that was enough it! It wanted to be loose!

Hence I started to really think about life and where God has ME going. God, there are two parts of me Justice and Creativity. They aren't so different, but how can I fuse them together? Become more of a whole person?

Well, it's slowly coming. I have had some ideas lately,

1. I would clear off that dusty scrapbook table and organize all my resources.
2. I am limiting my internet/computer time to less browsing and more productive digi-scrapping, blogging, and email/facebook. (PLAN of attack so that the computer just doesn't kill my day.
3. Reading non-fiction books that also focus on my creative side, not just justice and Christendom.
4. Listening to music more.
5. Praying more.

I'm excited.

Three Things: God Teaches

I haven't written all summer. And for that I am... well not so sorry. It's not like I haven't thought about doing my blog, but what can I say? Having 3 kids and a marathon life keeps me plenty busy and I haven't made it a priority.

There... blogging isn't my priority.

But, I've wanted to do one, and I thought, "Instead of waiting to be inspired, why don't I just do what Ali does and just blog... something?!"

Keeping it short. Keeping it simple.

And maybe if I literally have from "free time" i might explain it more in another entry.

So here we go:

3 Things: God Teaches

1. The beauty of thinking beyond what I know in the church.

I know traditional, I grew up Catholic. I was saved, and it was the only church I knew. I grew through what I had and the Holy Spirit. Then, I learn the beauty of the "non-traditional" church and went to a conservative Bible School. I start exploring all those "isms": modernism, postmodernism, evangelicalism, neo-evangelicalism, traditionalism, pentecostalism and more. I learned, am learning, and will continue to learn how God is moving in all those "isms."

Yep, it's vague. But it's a really long and probably to you, boring, road. But God and I get along and he knows what he needs to teach me and how.

Thank you, "isms" and how I have grown in my faith in God because of and inspite of them.

Books that relate:

Chasing Francis by Ian Morgan Cron

Deep Church by Jim Belchner

2. Forgiveness; I need to learn and relearn.

I think I learn this, but then a situation has to comes and I think I really need to "re-learn" for every situation and occurrence.

Sometimes: it's forgiving another person.

Sometimes: it's forgiving the situation.

Sometimes: it's forgiving God.

Sometimes: it's forgiving myself.

I think I have the hardest time with the last one.

3. Living a story worth living.

God has taken me on a slow and deep journey for this one. One with many twists and turns. With forks in the road, beautiful sights, and despairing moments.

I think that this is really the lesson that I am really interested in and wanting to learn the most about. It has peaked my interest.

I love it when God uses different areas of life to say, "Look at this! It's a reminder that I am still thinking all about you and I want the best for you."

This is probably another post in itself, and I feel like when I try to explain what God is showing me and teaching me, most people look at my quizzically and smile and nod. Maybe some really do get it. I don't know. But, I do want a story that's epic.

Books that relate:

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller,

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien

There is so much more to touch on. But I think that's enough for now... I have children that need to take a nap.

Chau

Trying to remember the bigger picture

It's very easy for me to get wrapped up in my own problems. They really are huge and overwhelming--especially when I am trying to "help" anybody beyond myself. Their problems... my problems... It's a whole lot of mess in this broken world.

And I don't like mess.

But, it's funny how God takes me on these lessons... adventures really... and how it starts slowly...

Have you ever notice that when we listen to the news it's usually about stars, sex scandals, and whatever... but nothing too much about the rest of the world? I don't even watch TV (we don't even have it) and I can get that much out of our media. It's stupid and inconsequential.

But when we hear about serious problems around the world: Human trafficking, genocide, earthquakes, hurricanes, starvation, plight, and AIDs... it's almost like we shrug our shoulders and think, "Yeah... what else is new?"

We've heard it all. Seen it all. And thanks to the vividness of Hollywood--we've seen what starvation, devastation, and destruction look like. We have become shockless. Nothing surprises us.

Okay, Betsy... where is this going?

Well, over the course of my Christian life--I have seen God pointing these out. My heart hurts. Tears. I think and dwell on these things. I have struggled over so many things: orphans of Romania, genocide in Rwanda, apartheid of South Africa, AIDs epidemic in Africa, earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, hurricane in Louisiana. So much hurt... Where is God in all of this?

Right in the midst of it. I am not going to go on theological tangents, but that is what He's showing me.

I am reading Left to Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza, a survivor of the Rwandan holocaust. She describes how her faith in God helped her through.

I have such little faith, in such a big God. She tells about a God who is loving... Just... and she was the hunted. She was the one who lost everyone.

God makes sure I finally read this book, right when I thought everything was overwhelming. When the mess of my life and others' was just too much. And then He shows me the big pictures.

It's not about me.

It's never been about me.

And when I finally remove myself and focus on the Big Picture--Him, I realize that if he's caring on hurting people, helping those in trouble, using us to love on others... then my problems seem quite small.

Finally....a camera

It came! My camera came! I have been without a digital camera for over a year (when it broke on Easter of 2009). Plus, I've been wanting a DSLR anyway... but when my other broke I thought... "Finally! I can have a reason to upgrade!" Well, I didn't think it would take me over a year to save up for a new one, but I did it!

I got a Canon Rebel XSI. Now I realize there are newer and better on the market, but for a year of doing research, I knew this is what would work for my purposes.

Now, here we are, in the midst of moving, my house is destroyed from packing and cleaning... but I am STILL baking a birthday cake. AND I am playing around with my new camera.

AND while I'm off task... let's make a digital scrapbook page.

AND... let's just hurry up and post it on Blogger.

Why not? Gotta enjoy these memories.

Cheers. :)

Right Here

Life is always complicated. After years of wishing that it will slow down or de-complicate itself (yes, I know it's not a word), I have come to the realization that it won't happen.

There are always going to be tough decisions.

Decisions that everyone else doesn't understand.

Decisions that are just plain wrong and everyone else sees it but you don't.

And confusion.

And that's the way it is. Is there is "right" way? Probably not. I think that there are many "right" ways to do most things. (Now don't get me wrong, there are many "wrong" ways too. And there are moral and non-moral ways to handle things.)

But, life in black and white....I don't think it exists. And if it does for some, then they are only sticking with one frame of thinking, and I don't think God just uses one way to do things.

I have been learning a lot lately about a lot of things, and interwoven in it is this idea that God never did the same things twice. He rescued the Israelites from the Egyptians by having them cross the Red Sea and parting the waters. He rescued the Israelites from the Assyrians by having a Babylonian empire take over them, and the Medio-Persian Empire take over them, and THEN they could go back to Israel under King Cyrus. Amazing sea-parting experience that happened all at once, compared to political decree that happened after 3 empires over hundreds of years.... Interesting.

Jesus healed many blind people--but every time it's recorded in the Bible, he does it differently! He speaks, he touches, he uses mud, he only half heals and then fully heals. Interesting.

He's unpredictable. He's un-controllable. He's amazing.

In all of this, I have begun to learn to not predict what he's doing. I am learning to know that things will not turn out as I expected.

And that I can see Him work here.

Right here.

Right now.

Sounds strange in the area that I live in. "What? What's He going to do here?"

But honestly, the nations are coming to this town's doorstep. Feed the hungry. Help the poor. There is so much of it right here. Fight for justice. Love your neighbors.

All... right... here...

I saw it before, it's just not where I wanted to be. Couldn't I go to a larger city? Couldn't I go to another country? Why on Earth did God plant me HERE?! I love being around family... but really?

But here is where He planted me. He never works the same. He has his own ideas on how things should work.

He's in control. And he's letting me find my way.

What a great combination.

Solitude

"Brian, I think we need to slow down."

Really, I think we've been going at a breakneck speed for a bit too long. Now, I realize having 3 kids so fast will do that, each one speeding up life exponentially. I also realize that having 3 jobs will do that.

I desire to actually spend time with my kids, instead of spending time around them. I love reading to them, playing dinosaurs, and playing playdough. But, really, I spend a lot of time running around, making supper, cleaning the house, tending to my business, getting ready for the next thing.

What about now?!

So, we are working on this. Slowing down.....

Granted, it's not going too well.

Brian's leaving for a Twins game tonight. I'm probably going to work on taking glue off the walls so we can paint.

And oh yeah, we're moving. So packing up the apartment. Having it ready for showing.

Maybe it'll slow down, and I realize I'm the one that has to put on the breaks...

But you know, as I write this, I realize that I still find those times of solitude. I love my coffee (or soon to be tea...I'm trying to break an addiction) in the morning, whether it's quietly reflecting on the Word, or if I have it in a travel mug on the way to MOPS. I love my showers (the one place I can be alone without someone demanding my attention). I love grocery shopping...especially when I get everything on my list in budget!

And sometimes, I have a cyber place of solitude. I can blog about things, listen to music, and reflect.

I'm sure the kids are destroying my house before they nap. (Like the other day... they ate 1/2 a pan of muffins before I realized it.)

That's okay. I'll clean it all up...

...in just a little bit...

Fail

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. I have many expectations for myself, which I think having goals are important. I try to be everything:

A Good Mother

A Godly Wife

A Businesswoman

Trendy

Clean and Orderly

Calm parenting

Reader

Developing good spiritual habits

and with all of these, if I would give myself a report card it would read:

A Good Mother------- FAIL

A Godly Wife----------FAIL

A Businesswoman-----FAIL

Trendy------------------FAIL

Clean and Orderly-----FAIL

Calm parenting style--FAIL

Reader------------------Doing okay

Developing good spiritual habits---FAIL

In my head, I see the ways I fail. My shortcomings, and how I blow it. I freak out on my kids--FAIL. I give in--FAIL. I want to sleep longer--FAIL. Trendy? ha. (Sounds like I would be in a downright depression, huh?)

I am a perfectionist--though I have relaxed a lot. I want everything to be perfect in some way it would show that I strived hard enough, done enough, been enough. But perfectionism is any area of my life, with children, husband, myself, business, or God, will inevitably be a big fat FAIL. I will never be enough--so why even try? Because I can strive for excellence.

I was at sitting in the audience of a professional organizer. She was giving moms suggestions on how to keep their family and household under control. Many of her ideas were wonderful--she taught me how to eliminate paper piles (make DECISIONS on them and put them in proper places, instead of --over there). She taught me how to be SMART about my time (eliminate paper piles which distract you by 5 seconds for each paper out). I was starting to feel pretty good about myself.

Then, she said a wonderful quote.

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.

Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business."

Michael J. Fox

God is teaching me amazing things--and here right in the middle of a lesson on how to organize my paper piles, I am struck with proverb that sends me to change my inward life.

I am reading a lot about parenting, the masculine heart, the feminine heart, and how that all correlates with God. God's teaching me that there is no "Act 3 Climax," no total fulfillment on this side of Heaven. I am learning that there is something more to strive for than parenting (because how they turn out is NOT up to me, how they are doing now is really NOT because of me). I am learning that basically "performance" doesn't matter.

I can strive... and FAIL to be perfect.

or I can strive for excellence and trip up a lot along the way. All I want for myself is to "live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ."--Oswald Chambers.

Haiti--We Feel Your Pain and We Respond

Please Give whatever you can.

WORLD VISION

Take me on an Adventure

As part of my 2010 Goals, I am trying to read 24 books this year. That's two a month and at least one has to be non-fiction.

Thus far, I seem to be on track.

Currently, I am devouring Wild At Heart by John Eldridge.

And I am sorry it has taken me this long to read it.

It takes me into the inner workings of the man's soul, which I foolishly thought I understood. I am beginning to realize how much I really don't understand at all. I thought with how much I knew Brian, and how much we have talked even on this very particular subject, that I understood.

No. I just vaguely had some comprehension. That's it.

The beautiful thing is not only the book and touching on the "wildness" of the soul in a man... but my reaction to it.

How romantic.

Eldridge talks about the man needing a battle, an adventure, and a beauty. He speaks about the wildness that's in a man and how God is like that and created it. He stands back and looks that the church full of good-moral-ed but bored Christian men. You know, "The Really Nice Guys." And for women...boring. What kind of portrayal of Jesus are we giving?! Jesus was not "a really nice guy," being Mister Rogers doesn't get you murdered.

It's all screaming at me--"how romantic." I don't like chick-flicks and over the top fluff. But this is the real stuff. The excitement that women are after. And the amazing part of it is... I want to be a part of it! The adventure doesn't end when the beauty is saved. What kind of hero stops? No, the adventure is about something bigger--and the beauty is then along for the adventure as well.... sigh.....

I was explaining this to a couple of my girlfriends, about how wonderful it is to see a man on an adventure with a battle to fight. He's dangerous. He's robust, ruddy, and smells like dirt.

What does this adventure look like? Is it being a good husband and father? Yes... but mostly no.

William Wallace fought for something beyond himself. Freedom.
William Wilberforce fought for something beyond himself. Abolition of slavery.
Jesus fought for something beyond himself. Salvation.
Jim Elliot fought for something beyond himself. Gospel to the people in the Amazon.
Martin Luther King Jr. fought for something beyond himself. Equality.

Being on an adventure IS being a good husband and father. Of course, there is more to it, but having purpose and living by example IS being a good husband and father.

An adventure has a RISK factor. Something could go wrong--we could lose everything. But if it's beyond ourselves it's worth fighting for. And the adventure isn't about saving the beauty... It's having an adventure and saving her along the way.

______________________
Open Road by Nathan Lee

I don't know the way from here
been living under rocks and stones
its time to learn to see things clear
i can feel it in my bones
well I'm movin' on

I'm runnin' down an open road
like gasoline and fire
you can't shut me down
or burn me out
what am i living for
if I ain't climbing higher
don't wanna be has been
just wann be headin'
where I'm sposed' to go
until I die I'll be the man on the open road

it used to be sleepless nights
somewhere out under the stars
I finally found the morning light
you never thought I'd get this far
well I'm movin' on

This is the song for the morning after

2010 Goals

2010 already.

A New Year kind of creeps up on you, especially with all the excitement of the holiday season. Then BAM--it's the New Year, complete with taxes, clearance sales, really cold weather (at least for us in Minnesota), and New Year Resolutions.

I have been thinking a lot of New Year Resolutions. I never really took them seriously until a couple of years ago. So, I decided to make a goal and stick with it through out the year and see where it went.

Last year I committed to reading the Bible in a year and reading 12 books.

How did I do?

Well, I'm finishing up on the Bible in a Year. I only have a couple of minor prophets to go through and then I will complete it! So, It'll take me a year and a couple of weeks, but I will have read through the Bible!

I am really sure I read through 12 books... But here in lies the problem, I have no way to prove that. I forgot to write them down. So, I'm going to say I accomplished this.

This Years Goals:

Judging from my last year's goals, I am going to create goals that are measurable and attainable--but slightly out of grasp so that I have to strive.

I also was challenged to think of goals for the following areas:

Faith

Family

Friends

Finances

Fitness

Fun

2010 Goals

1. Faith-- Memorize 1 verse a month (with my children). And continue with a bi-weekly Bible Study.
2. Family--On the off week of Bible Study, Date night with my husband.
3. Friends--That's the Bible Study.
4. Finances-- Become Unit Manager by March, 100 new recruits (sound crazy check out this inspirational video!), and 3,500 in sales/month.
5. Fitness-- Run at least the 5k in our town. And be at my goal weight by June.
6. Fun-- Take my husband to Puerto Rico for free by achieving goals through lia sophia.

So, that's a lot for Goals! But I have learned, if you aim at nothing--you'll get it every time. So I'm aiming, striving for a Goal. And I have them written down--so I can't "forget" them by June!

2010 here I come!!!