Right Here

Life is always complicated. After years of wishing that it will slow down or de-complicate itself (yes, I know it's not a word), I have come to the realization that it won't happen.

There are always going to be tough decisions.

Decisions that everyone else doesn't understand.

Decisions that are just plain wrong and everyone else sees it but you don't.

And confusion.

And that's the way it is. Is there is "right" way? Probably not. I think that there are many "right" ways to do most things. (Now don't get me wrong, there are many "wrong" ways too. And there are moral and non-moral ways to handle things.)

But, life in black and white....I don't think it exists. And if it does for some, then they are only sticking with one frame of thinking, and I don't think God just uses one way to do things.

I have been learning a lot lately about a lot of things, and interwoven in it is this idea that God never did the same things twice. He rescued the Israelites from the Egyptians by having them cross the Red Sea and parting the waters. He rescued the Israelites from the Assyrians by having a Babylonian empire take over them, and the Medio-Persian Empire take over them, and THEN they could go back to Israel under King Cyrus. Amazing sea-parting experience that happened all at once, compared to political decree that happened after 3 empires over hundreds of years.... Interesting.

Jesus healed many blind people--but every time it's recorded in the Bible, he does it differently! He speaks, he touches, he uses mud, he only half heals and then fully heals. Interesting.

He's unpredictable. He's un-controllable. He's amazing.

In all of this, I have begun to learn to not predict what he's doing. I am learning to know that things will not turn out as I expected.

And that I can see Him work here.

Right here.

Right now.

Sounds strange in the area that I live in. "What? What's He going to do here?"

But honestly, the nations are coming to this town's doorstep. Feed the hungry. Help the poor. There is so much of it right here. Fight for justice. Love your neighbors.

All... right... here...

I saw it before, it's just not where I wanted to be. Couldn't I go to a larger city? Couldn't I go to another country? Why on Earth did God plant me HERE?! I love being around family... but really?

But here is where He planted me. He never works the same. He has his own ideas on how things should work.

He's in control. And he's letting me find my way.

What a great combination.

Solitude

"Brian, I think we need to slow down."

Really, I think we've been going at a breakneck speed for a bit too long. Now, I realize having 3 kids so fast will do that, each one speeding up life exponentially. I also realize that having 3 jobs will do that.

I desire to actually spend time with my kids, instead of spending time around them. I love reading to them, playing dinosaurs, and playing playdough. But, really, I spend a lot of time running around, making supper, cleaning the house, tending to my business, getting ready for the next thing.

What about now?!

So, we are working on this. Slowing down.....

Granted, it's not going too well.

Brian's leaving for a Twins game tonight. I'm probably going to work on taking glue off the walls so we can paint.

And oh yeah, we're moving. So packing up the apartment. Having it ready for showing.

Maybe it'll slow down, and I realize I'm the one that has to put on the breaks...

But you know, as I write this, I realize that I still find those times of solitude. I love my coffee (or soon to be tea...I'm trying to break an addiction) in the morning, whether it's quietly reflecting on the Word, or if I have it in a travel mug on the way to MOPS. I love my showers (the one place I can be alone without someone demanding my attention). I love grocery shopping...especially when I get everything on my list in budget!

And sometimes, I have a cyber place of solitude. I can blog about things, listen to music, and reflect.

I'm sure the kids are destroying my house before they nap. (Like the other day... they ate 1/2 a pan of muffins before I realized it.)

That's okay. I'll clean it all up...

...in just a little bit...