FALLS APART

"Falls, apart, everything around me

falls, apart, when I walk away from you"

Falls Apart--Thousand Foot Krutch

(Note: Stop the automatic music at the bottom of the screen and please play the song provided with this blog post... AND PLAY IT INSANELY LOUD)

Falls apart..............................

Everything around me

When I walk away from you

I have no good pictures, or profound insight. (As if anyone ever read this to get anything out of it.) But just realization.

Things fall apart when I walk away from God. I love how TFK puts it so simply. From the very start, things fall apart when I walk away from you.

He holds me together. He holds everything together. 

It isn't about my track record. It's not about how great I pray, how great I act, or how many people I can get pumped for him. It's not about how great I can do "ministry." 

RUBBISH. Crap. It STILL all falls apart when I walk away from him.

I think I can put my life into a perfect little box. I get my script on how I should live life. I go through the motions, and I act, say, and do what good little Christian girls should.

NO.  

Even with scripts, things fall apart. 

I need him. I need him to breathe! I need him to keep my life together.

Philippians 2:12-15 has been going through my head lately.

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

Things in life are not easy--even as a follower of Christ. So, get that out of your head. It's hard. Continue to work out your faith with fear and trembling.

Fear and trembling

Everyday i'm faced with decisions. lots of decisions. And everyday i need to make a decision to live for him through every decision I make. not so easy when you hear people talking smack about each other and i'm standing there like an idiot and i should say something about it.

not so easy when people ask more of me than what i can give.

not so easy when i feel cheated

not so easy when i want the other people to "get what they deserve"

not so easy when i feel like things are falling apart

not every decision is an easy one.... in fact, it's with fear and trembling I make the decisions i need to make.

I can't live life according to scripts. I can't live life the easy way. I can't just "do the right thing" and think everything will be okay. I have tried that. Jesus didn't come to live on this Earth, and die a terrible treacherous death and rise from the dead just so I could live an easy "christian" little life. He died so I could live...

live radically with him

I wish I could, but I don’t, 
Always keep the promises I’ve kept,
I wish I could, but I can’t, 
Always give, whatever I have left,

And now it’s all so clear, 
Doesn’t anyone see what’s happening here?..../

It falls, apart, from the very start,
It falls, apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls, apart, every thing around me,
Falls, apart, when I walk away from you

I need Jesus. I need to live and breathe Jesus.